I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
