Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
