well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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