pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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