with your own penis?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
