My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I enjoy the company of your penis
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