whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
