my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
