He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
