i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
