I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
