I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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