everyone is single if you try hard enough
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
