Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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