I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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