ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
