So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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