Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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