His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
