you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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