well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
