no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
