remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
