Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
