You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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