Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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