I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
