I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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