i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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