Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
