I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
