Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
