ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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