I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
