I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
