The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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