I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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