the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
