you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
