In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
