I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
