I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
