We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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