Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Houston, we have a blender
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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