I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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