He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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