I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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