First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
