All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
