If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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