I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
