just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
