You really coming over, don't trick.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
