Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
