We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
